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January 7, 2009 / Kate

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2009 people! It’s time to get serious. We’re not playing around anymore. This is the year I turn 26 and my baby fever ratchets to dizzying heights until my ovaries unfurl, spinning out of my body and snatch at any available man, Venus Fly Trap style. It will be embarrassing.

I don’t know about y’all, but I love January! It’s all about the hot cocoa and the discount calendars and the de-crystallizing of honey on the wood stove. I love the wood stove. Need a warm spot for your bread to rise? Set it next to to stove. Need to thaw out some meat? Slap it directly on the surface of the wood stove.

I love to a lesser degree the fact that, in January, you must lick your lips rapidly before you sneeze, laugh, or smile. Otherwise, they will split painfully. Is that just me? My skin is so dry, there is literally a sucking noise when I apply lotion on my face.

I went to work today because I had to and stayed for three hours only. Do you want to know why I came home? I’ll tell you. The septic system boiled over under my office and my entire office smells like poo. I was already feeling urpy, and the poo sent me rocketing into full on gag mode. I have to stop talking about this.

I came home and took a 2 hour nap on the couch and am now acting extra perky in order to avoid a post nap dry mouthed suicidal funk.

So. How are you guys?

P.S. What do you know about bloody goat teat pustules? I already googled it and I got nothing.

One Comment

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  1. Nicki / Jan 12 2009 1:34 am

    I love your definition of baby-fever! It makes me feel that much better about being 28 and having crazy urges to procreate…

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