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March 11, 2008 / Kate

Don’t worry, he says, we have a shop vac

Why am I lying on my floor wearing smelly sweatpants at 3:30 in the afternoon eating Madeleines? Why? I’ll tell you why. I’m in pain. I’m in pain that hurts. I hurt my back at work on Friday. How did I do it? I sat at a desk and typed, that’s how.  And now I walk like Quasimodo and I have to go to physical therapy and take muscle relaxers that make me drool into my ice cream. That’s right! Ice cream and Madeleines. And OATMEAL! I’m going NUTS over here.

I still have to wrestle goats and breastfeed lambs and sweep my floors just like any old other day, except that I am lying on my rug that smells like baby rabbit piss thinking about my clients who I KNOW are totally relapsing right now because I am the very THIN thread that keeps the world spinning on a string.

I don’t HAVE to make sense. I’m in pain. Someone who is very rude is pinching me under my shoulder blades and I don’t speak the right language to tell them to not please do it.

In conclusion: I hate everything.


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