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April 27, 2007 / Kate

stand by like a bystander

We are enjoying almost everything about our new dog. Everything but the Face Biting. It’s not a totally big deal, but when she comes running at 95 miles per hour and leaps up to forcefully nip my face, I can’t help but take it personally and body slam her. Not hard, really, just enough to let her know that the Face Biting need to STOP. She feels bad, after the body slam, I can tell, but that doesn’t stop her from doing it again the next day. Is the Body Slam not clear enough? Am I sending mixed signals?

If I were a rapper, I would name myself either T-Bagg or Hep C, I can’t decide. I guess that decision can wait a few months.

Two men simply called “The Turkey Hunters” are coming to stay on the ranch this weekend. They are men, I understand that are fond of the Drink and the Wimmens, and the Shooting. Apparently they make a pilgrimage here every year and attempt to shoot a turkey. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they do not. This I find hard to believe, as the turkeys hang out in the YARD all the time. You don’t even need to get off the porch or put down your beer to shoot one, really. But maybe it’s harder than I realize. I am not the hunting type.

Someone dumped a lop-eared rabbit on us the other day that was not for eating, but for petting. Crazy, I know. We decided we couldn’t keep it, so we asked around and a friend of a friend offered to take him. The man and his young son came out to get him and asked why we didn’t want to keep him. “Well, we raise meat rabbits, and we aren’t really interested in keeping any for pets”.

The silence and the little boy’s eyes both got bigger and bigger until the man said, “Well. We are vegetarians. So. We are VERY glad we decided to come rescue him today.” His son looked at our happy little bunnies running around in their large home and said, “you need to get a bigger cage for your rabbits”.

Then I ate one right in front of him.

Speaking of loving care for our Earth and Her Treasures, my seed project sort of failed mostly. I either have to bite the bullet and go purchase starts, or we will be dining solely on Bell Peppers, Zinnias and rabbit this summer. There are only so many Rabbit Zinnia Pies a person can handle.



Leave a Comment
  1. jessmonster / Apr 30 2007 8:05 pm

    “We are vegetarians.” Oh, those people just kill me. As if they could rescue all the animals and save the world?

    We can’t tell if our seeds worked or if they’re just weeds we’ve never seen before.

  2. Cuz / May 1 2007 5:43 am

    I once saw a video clip of a guy beheading a turkey with a special arrow. The guy was probably three times my age and twice my weight or more. What I mean to say is that an old fat guy can shoot a turkey’s head off with a bow and arrow. But only if his mustache is sufficiently virile.

    You should have bitten Peter Rabbit’s head off like Ozzy Osbourne going after a bat covered in smack.

    Dibs on G-Wartz.

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