Skip to content
April 15, 2007 / Kate

Because it’s loud with the ShopVac on

HOW TO RUIN YOUR SATURDAY

1) Bring dogs to local feed store where they are handing out free rabies vaccines like candy. Slightly painful candy.

2) Bring Old Crotchety Dog inside with you and purchase one garbage can.

3) Leave garbage can in the car with Young Happy Dog

4) Stand in LONG line for TOO LONG with yippy scared dogs all around you.

5) Receive free (thank you) vaccine from mean nasty “vet” guy

6) Go back to you car to find that Young Happy Dog has disappeared

7) Freak out

8 ) Freak out some more

9) Run all wild like back to your in-laws who are being yelled at by mean “vet” guy

10) Freak them out

11) Run all wild like back to your car to discover Young Happy Dog inside of recently purchased garbage can

12) Tell the ten thousand people in line watching your episode that, “Oh! No, it’s okay! She’s IN THE GARBAGE CAN! You can…it’s okay now! My, it’s windy out, I should go home! Bye!”

13) Merge onto the freeway and realize that Old Crochety Dog has already been vaccinated for rabies this year. Only a few months ago. The entire trip was a waste of time and energy and freak out juice.

14) WHATEVER

15) Come home to find that the chickens have broken through some fencing and are uprooting your carefully tended beautiful herb garden. The delicate shoots are ripped to shreds.

16) Sick your Chicken Herding dog on them and go inside

17) Die a little inside

HOW TO MAKE YOUR SATURDAY A LITTLE BIT BETTER

1) Eat ice cream.

2) Make soap.

3) Wine.

Our 8 pound cat has attacked our 30 pound new dog twice now. That’s right. Josie has been plotting Taz’s demise since she arrived one week ago, and yesterday she implemented the War on Puppies. She waited under a small bridge over our creek until Taz ran happy and carefree over it. Josie flipped over the bridge and attacked Taz with teeth and claws. Taz ran with Josie hot on her stumpy little tail and finally laid down with her paws over her head, ready to surrender her young innocent life. Kathy ran out and picked Taz up, the cat still clawing on her, and carried her inside.

Taz is perfectly capable of snapping Josie like a twig. She refuses to do so because her only goal in life is to LOVE. She is the most lovey dog I’ve ever met. She would rather be clawed to death than hurt a kitty.

Josie botched another sneak attack again today, and I ran interference and put the dog inside.

WTF Josie? Why all the hate? Why the kamikaze puppy attacks? Where is the love?  I’m going to have to find a family therapist.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Taylor / Apr 15 2007 3:51 am

    personally, I think Josie is having “mommy” withdrawals. She misses me.

  2. maria / Apr 15 2007 4:59 am

    Wow, and there are not even kids yet… you guys need some serious help…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: