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January 25, 2007 / Kate

Help! I’ve fallen off the face of the earth and I can’t get up!

Every time Jess writes me and asks me how things are going, I am prompted to dust off my laptop and update everyone on my not so new anymore life.

First of all. I’m digging this whole marriage gig. It pretty much rocks. But it really saps your time. I don’t know where it all goes, It seems like the days are shorter and life is happening more quickly now that I’m married. I am constantly thinking, “It’s Thursday already? It’s January already?”

Jess asked me if I have had any interesting meals lately, and of course I have, being married to a Foodie who is also a country boy. Last week we ate a delicious Wild Boar Shoulder Roast and we paired it with Black Pepper and Lime Oven Fries. Because that’s how we roll.

We are cleaning out one of the garages to create a beekeeping* workspace for ourselves and it is sapping all of our time. We’ve been spending all of our days off filling the trailer with load after load of mostly unrecognizable junk that Keith’s grandparents couldn’t bear to part with 20 years ago. Some gems we have found so far:

  • A box of Keith’s grandmother’s prized salt and pepper shaker collection, complete with an embarrassing set of grinning black Mammy Salt and Pappy Pepper shakers.
  • 4851 containers of crusty, half used motor oil
  • Rusty car parts belonging to cars that no longer exist
  • A collection of spent sparkplugs that Grandpa couldn’t bear to part with after he had replaced them
  • Molding blankets with rat’s nests inside. Hanta Virus, anyone?

The goats are finally getting some action this week. This is their Week of Love with the Bearded Wonder Stud before they have to come back home to the harsh reality of single motherhood. And the eventual tragic disappearance of their children. When we dropped them off, the buck was excited and nosed them in the punani and started butting them suggestively, but they weren’t in the mood. We threw some candles and massage oil at them and screeched off. They damn well better get in the mood at fitty bone each for a week of romance. Shoot. These babies better be good eatin’ or I’m gonna be pissed. That’s right. We are planning on eating baby goats. Go on, say it. You think you’re disgusted, but that disgusting feeling is merely curiosity. We’ll let you know how it goes.

We just got back from the coast where Keith hosted a fancy dancy wine dinner at a hotel for snobby rich people. His job paid for a meal for us and a night’s stay there. It was fun to get tipsy and snicker at the pucker lipped lady next to me who kept saying things like, “Dear, we MUST tell the garden boy not to prune the Meyer Lemon tree until after the frost is gone”

*I can’t remember if I have talked about this before. We are planning to purchase a beekeeping business next year. Keith will work with the bees and I will make the candles and soaps and lotions and smelly things from the wax. While working a full time job. And tending an enormous garden. And milking goats. And making cheese. And taking speed. We shall be forced to hire a garden boy so that our Meyer Lemon trees are not neglected.


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  1. Pete / Jan 25 2007 11:22 pm

    My grandparents had well over 10,000 sets of salt and pepper shakers. When they divorced after 50 years (don’t ask) they sold the collection for a whopping $45,000. They have huge conventions across the country.

    Autoparts.. You can always ebay them when grandpa isnt looking. 🙂 There is a huge market now for antique cars.

  2. Cuz / Jan 26 2007 6:21 pm

    A friend of mine has a grandfather who refuses to throw away any kind of motor. He’ll help people tear down refrigerators, washers, leaf blowers, or anything else that might have a solenoid or dynamo in it. This guy seriously has a pile of decaying motors behind his barn–like a steel and plastic mulch pile. Whenever anybody asks about it, his response is, “Throw them away?? There’s copper in there! You don’t throw that away.”
    Somebody was raised during the depression.

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