I should buy stock in quotation marks
I have been consumed with interviewing doggie hotels where Mollie can stay when we get hitched. Well, not so much consumed as pointing with my eyes closed at random online yellow page ads. I called one yesterday and she asked my dog’s breed. “Oh. I don’t do Spaniels.” She said. “Neither do I, we’re just friends!” I replied. (Ba dam ba!)
She referred me to a woman with a “doggie bed and breakfast” who apparently does do Spaniels. This woman introduced herself as Grrramma Lily. Yes. She spelled it out for me to make sure I understood her. She kept describing her house as “big assed” and she gave me the run-down on her very strict schedule. I am not to call or come over between noon and two for “Doggie Siesta”. I am also to write a short biography of my dog and bring it along with a photo that they will attach to her hotel room door. Yes. She will have her own room. Whatever.