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April 15, 2006 / Kate


First of all, one does not write a blog, one writes a blog entry. One maintains a blog. Okay everyone? I am sick to DEATH of bloggers saying how they need to write a blog about something that happened to them that day. TO DEATH, I SAY!

Now that that’s out of the way, I will talk about Mollie. She had to get four teeth removed yesterday on account a how she never done brushed her teeth in her life. Now she is a hick dog and has taken to chewing tobaccy and saying “ya’ll”. I believe she has also started up a small meth lab behind our apartment.

She was not herself when I picked her up, incredibly woozy and lethargic. Woozy and lethargic for Mollie means that she jumped a pitiful two feet in the air when she saw me, rather than her typical 4-5 feet. The “technician” that brought her out said he’d never seen a dog wake up so quickly after surgery. I think it’s the meth.

Mollie is exhausted today, she still follows me from room to room as if I am going to disappear on her, but as soon as she catches up to me, she nose-dives into the carpet and takes a power nap before dragging herself up to follow me again.

I forgot that I had to house-sit this weekend for the neighbors who have the dopiest, most obnoxious Golden Retriever ever. He is huge, and likes to lick your pants and bring you your slobbery socks. Mollie and I had to sleep over at his house last night and we didn’t get much sleep. I was awakened every hour by a new discovery, each more thrilling than the last. 11PM: Yuba ripping up a small rug by the bed. 12:30 AM: Mollie puking all over me and the duvet cover. 1AM: finally getting back to bed after cleaning up the mess to discover Yuba shredding garbage. 6AM: Yuba barking at the carpet. 7AM: Yuba body slamming the front door.

In other news, our friend Steve almost died. He fell out of a third story window. Wish him well if you like, he is now being forced to drink hospital coffee, which in Steve’s world might be equivalent to the horrers of falling to your near-death.

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