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March 14, 2006 / Kate

High maintenance machine.

At the risk of turning this into a dog blog, I will speak for a moment about Mollie the Dog.
Mollie has never been in a serious romantic relationship. Up until now, I thought it was due to the fact that she is spayed: a huge turn off with the guys. Now I realize it is because she isn’t very good at relationships. She is like the psycho girlfriend that you put up with for way too long back before you learned how to listen to your instincts.
If you leave her in the house by herself, you will come home to a veritable smorgaasbord of strewn garbage, defecation, and chewed tampons ground into the carpet.
Last night, I had the gall to take a bath without inviting her in to stand there and stare at me with her sad, sad eyes, while I tried to shave my legs. She exacted her revenge by carefully chewing up pieces of used tissue in Jess’s room, leaving a neat little pile of snotty shreds on her carpet.
If she had opposable thumbs, she would call me over and over if I was out with my friends on a Saturday night.
She rests her head my knee whenever I sit down, and follows me from room to room. She gets all huffy and bored if I don’t take her out and show her a good time at least once a day. She makes a fuss when I leave her in the car while I run errands. She wants to eat whatever I’m eating. She embarrasses me when company is over, and the girl just can’t seem to keep her legs shut.

It doesn’t make sense, but I can’t get enough of her. We were meant to be together. You just wouldn’t understand.


Leave a Comment
  1. Jess / Mar 14 2006 1:43 pm

    How does Keith feel about all this?

  2. Kate / Mar 14 2006 4:07 pm

    He is just as smitten with her as I am

  3. Pete / Mar 15 2006 7:23 pm

    dogs are the best!

  4. jessenicholas / Mar 15 2006 11:04 pm

    And my new band name: Dog Blog.

  5. Heather / Mar 16 2006 11:50 am

    Just stumbled across your blog. I’ll never understand our dogs’ fascination with kleenex, especially the used variety. Oh and nylons, they somehow love eating those as well. Ours are also big fans of not being so modest and I think prefer sleeping with their legs in the air.

  6. Pete / Mar 17 2006 10:47 am

    Our dog likes to eat used diapers. We have to make sure that they get closed up and taken outside or we have a mess..

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