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March 2, 2006 / Kate

The Bloodbath continues

Need any blood for your ritual sacrifices? Are you a vampire searching for a constant source of sustenance? Gimme a call. The dog, she has an issue of blood only Jesus can heal.

Speaking of All Things Holy, I interviewed a potential wedding officiant yesterday. We met at Stumptown Coffee. We each sat at our own table for about 20 minutes, searching the eyes of everyone who walked in the door until we realized we were sitting five feet from one another. He is one of those people who advertises on wedding websites, “Custom weddings! Jewish, Civil, Christian, Whatever! Gimme a Call!” I don’t know why I was thinking this guy would have any kind of integrity/concrete beliefs. I asked him if he had a congregation or anything and he replied that yes, he has a congregation of ten people who meet at his house once per month. When asked what it was exactly they believed or practiced, he looked at me kind of strangely and said, “Well, we are mostly reality based, with loose, quasi-Christian undertones, and we just like to check in and…you know…be present with one another.” Right. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Edited to add:
I forgot about some more interestingness that happened yesterday morning. On my way to Stumptown, I noticed a barista guy running down the street yelling, “Wait! You’ve got our duuuck!!” Hmm. I went on my way. About ten minutes later, I was waiting for Reverend Reality when in comes the barista, sweaty and panting, triumphantly holding a decoy hunting duck attached to a key. Apparently a woman had used the bathroom with the key (attached to the duck) and walked out the door with it. She made it several blocks away, not noticing the barista screaming at her, and more importantly, not noticing the LIFE SIZED DUCK in her hand. Some people really aren’t awake until they get their coffee.



Leave a Comment
  1. Jess / Mar 2 2006 2:43 pm

    But theoretically she’d already had her coffee…unless she was just mooching and using Stumptown’s bathroom.

  2. Javier Martí / Mar 2 2006 3:21 pm

    That thing with the duck could happen to anyone. Don`t worry! 😉
    I have been here checking out your new entries. I am still happy to have linked you in my blog.
    Keep it up!
    Best regards

  3. vasisthadas / Mar 3 2006 5:45 am

    Hehe, Reverend Reality. I think I may make that my new video game handle.


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