Stuck in the Ugly Mug: JJ Abrams, eat your heart out*
Keith came for two! whole! days! and we squeezed every ounce of good times and happiness out of it. We went out to dinner for V-Day and ate the best meal either of us has ever had in our lives. We drank lots of wine and giggled and made googly eyes and sappy toasts to one another. It was disgusting. I apologize to all those at the Tuscany Grill that had to fix their gaze on their Tiramisu for fear of watching our schmoopiness.
This morning I was slightly late for class, but decided to stop and get some delicious coffee from the Ugly Mug. As soon as I got my fix, I went to open the door and it was stuck. “How embarrassing” I thought “I am an idiot and can’t figure out how to open a door” a kind, if slightly condescending man offered to help, and he couldn’t get it open either. Soon everyone in the coffee shop tried their hand at getting it open. “Get a knife! Let ME do it! No! This way!” they shouted to one another, as they pushed each other around, jabbing frantically at the handle with butter knives and credit cards. A crowd gathered outside, attempting to get it open from the outside. We used elaborate gestures to “communicate” back and forth between the Outside Crew and the Inside Crew.
I finally called Jess and asked her to bring over a screw driver. She did, and as she walked toward the door, the guy closest to the door who was stabbing uselessly with his American Express card asked “how is that gonna help? We can’t get it inside” I rolled my eyes as the man on the outside finally freed us. A True American Hero.
Needless to say, I didn’t even try to use the incident as an excuse to my professor.
As I was standing inside the coffee shop, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility that we would never be able to leave the Ugly Mug again. I thought it would be a good premise for a show. We would survive on coffee and stale pastries, checking our email using the wifi connection. It would be like Lost, without all the unidentified Monsters and boars and whatnot. Come to think of it, maybe there would be an inidentified monster. Maybe it would be an Ugly Mug that rips your face off when you try to sip your latte. Scary.
*Eat you HEART out? That is not a very nice thing to say to someone. It’s also disgusting.