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February 16, 2006 / Kate

Stuck in the Ugly Mug: JJ Abrams, eat your heart out*

Keith came for two! whole! days! and we squeezed every ounce of good times and happiness out of it. We went out to dinner for V-Day and ate the best meal either of us has ever had in our lives. We drank lots of wine and giggled and made googly eyes and sappy toasts to one another. It was disgusting. I apologize to all those at the Tuscany Grill that had to fix their gaze on their Tiramisu for fear of watching our schmoopiness.

This morning I was slightly late for class, but decided to stop and get some delicious coffee from the Ugly Mug. As soon as I got my fix, I went to open the door and it was stuck. “How embarrassing” I thought “I am an idiot and can’t figure out how to open a door” a kind, if slightly condescending man offered to help, and he couldn’t get it open either. Soon everyone in the coffee shop tried their hand at getting it open. “Get a knife! Let ME do it! No! This way!” they shouted to one another, as they pushed each other around, jabbing frantically at the handle with butter knives and credit cards. A crowd gathered outside, attempting to get it open from the outside. We used elaborate gestures to “communicate” back and forth between the Outside Crew and the Inside Crew.

I finally called Jess and asked her to bring over a screw driver. She did, and as she walked toward the door, the guy closest to the door who was stabbing uselessly with his American Express card asked “how is that gonna help? We can’t get it inside” I rolled my eyes as the man on the outside finally freed us. A True American Hero.

Needless to say, I didn’t even try to use the incident as an excuse to my professor.

As I was standing inside the coffee shop, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility that we would never be able to leave the Ugly Mug again. I thought it would be a good premise for a show. We would survive on coffee and stale pastries, checking our email using the wifi connection. It would be like Lost, without all the unidentified Monsters and boars and whatnot. Come to think of it, maybe there would be an inidentified monster. Maybe it would be an Ugly Mug that rips your face off when you try to sip your latte. Scary.

*Eat you HEART out? That is not a very nice thing to say to someone. It’s also disgusting.

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7 Comments

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  1. Jess / Feb 16 2006 12:15 pm

    Those of us outside kept wondering…isn’t there a back door? An emergency exit? What if there had been a fire!

  2. Kate / Feb 16 2006 12:58 pm

    Yeah, people kept talking about fire hazards inside too. The one employee just kept making drinks, unconcerned.

  3. Anonymous / Feb 16 2006 2:41 pm

    How many people were panicking on cell phones within the compound converted coffee house. We know there was at least one.

    I can attest to the oogling of this couple because they were seen later that night wandering through the Pearl.

  4. Nikki / Feb 16 2006 4:23 pm

    at least you had a wonderful, albeit mushy V Day… I have horror stories of mine…

  5. jessenicholas / Feb 17 2006 10:10 am

    I think you should pitch the show idea to the Lost producers. The upcoming episode preview shows the cast finding a new door somewhere on the island. Little do they know that once they go in the door they can never come out. The bright side is that they will find the nicest of baristas fully prepared to create whatever caffeinated beverage they can dream up. The end.

  6. kitri / Feb 17 2006 1:36 pm

    I’m picturing a heartfelt and bittersweet scene in which Kate, tragically imprisoned inside of the coffee shop, presses her hand against the glass, feeling the cool winter breezes of the outside world… suddenly, a hand reaches up to touch hers on the other side of the glass. It’s Jess, Kate’s lifetime friend. No words pass between them, just a simple look of sadness and understanding. Slowly, Kate lets her fingers slide down the window as she turns, never again to look back, towards her future: unlimited wifi and unending lattes for life.

  7. Kate / Feb 17 2006 1:54 pm

    Sniff…

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