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September 18, 2005 / Kate

What kind of psychologist would you like, Strickland?

She was actually pretty toned down this time. Maybe because her husband was there. He was normal and cool and pleasant. But he did give her a couple of looks that said, “woman, please”.

I kind of forgot what it was like to babysit. Its been a while. She gave me the whole rundown of names and addresses of everyone on their block and their likelyhood of being home if I had an emergency.

She did crack me up when she asked him:
What time would you like to go to bed, Strickland?
Five o clock.
How about five ‘til nine or nine ‘o five. Does that sound okay? Huh? Is that better?
Uh, yep.

I was asked to please write down my name, phone number, address, and select one emergency contact for their records. After submitting fingerprints and supplying them with a sample for a urine test, they reluctantly dragged themselves off to their party.

As soon as they walked out the door, Strickland began doing flips all over the living room. You should have seen the look on his face when they ran back in to grab their keys. “No, Mama” he whispered, stopping dead in his tracks.

Tonight’s feature presentation was Maisy, the lovable, if a bit creepy, non-verbal mouse. All of the characters on the show make their own unique noises, but don’t actually speak. It gets really old after a while. All they can do is grunt and squeak, hoot and whistle as they play painfully slow games of hide and seek.

As Strickland and I sat side by side on the couch, enraptured by Maisy’s incredible ability to count and name vegetables and zoo animals, I noticed that the non-voices of the characters sounded oddly familiar. I could be wrong, but Charlie the Alligator sounded exactly like Homer Simpson. The various rabbits squeakings resembled Bart, perhaps. Eddie the Elephant: an unmistakable Barney Gumble. As the elephant stomped around, receiving baths and trying to squeeze himself onto the bus, I couldnt shake the image of that lovable alcoholic passed out in an alley. I kept expecting the elephant to let rip an earth-shattering burp after tossing back a Duff beer.

Maisy herself was a tough one. I couldn’t decide between Lisa or Maggie. Maybe the person who does the voice for Lisa on the Simpsons also does Maggie. Unfortunately they didn’t list the voice actors in the closing credits of “Count with Maisy”.

In one scene, Maisy gives Barney, er, I mean Eddie a bath. The narrator exclaims bemusedly, “Ten! Ten fleas hopping onto the wheelbarrow! “ Gross.

Strickland is the cutest kid ever. His favorite thing to eat is chips and spicy salsa. And he wanted to sit on my shoulders as I read him his bedtime stories. And I want one just like him.

The end.

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Jess / Sep 19 2005 10:21 am

    I have it from Katy that Strickland actually said “no mama” when she came back. Now there’s a kid who actually needs some preschool.

  2. beege / Sep 24 2005 6:46 am

    Oh, how sad! “No mama”. What is that woman DOING to him that he said that?!

    As far as Maisy goes: I SO hear you. What ca-reeps me out is Maisy’s pink, almost finger-like whiskers. That’s just wrong.

  3. Katy / Sep 24 2005 9:20 am

    Yeah. Maisy kind of looks like a white version of the ROUS from A Princess Bride.

    As far as Strickland goes, I think he is just not getting enough personal space. I dont think she is torturing him, I just think that he is going to have major boundary issues with the women in his future.

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