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August 25, 2005 / Kate

A what? A blog? Me?

Hi there. Sorry I forgot about my blog.

I have been so busy doing so much nothing that I couldn’t stop.

The truth is, nothing seems blogworthy anymore. I almost wrote this whole long story about how I was driving along yesterday and realized that my left underwire in my bra was missing. GONE! POOF! and I looked all lopsided. There was no hole in my bra. I have no idea where it went, but it was gone. So I drove right over to Target and bought myself a new one. Because I had nothing better to do.


We went to this restaurant on Tuesday night and I have been trying for 2 days to make sense of what happened in my mind before writing it down, but I can’t really, so here goes.

I hate shrimp. I noticed that the place smelled like shrimp from the street outside. I should have backed out then, but Keith and I had a $10 gift certificate there (10! Dollars!) and we wanted to check it out.

We were seated at the table closest to the loud kitchen. During our three and a half hour visit, we could hear the cooks horsing around and the waiters complaining about customers.

Keith didnt realize that this was a fondue, cook-everything-yourself-and-then-pay-out-the-nose-for-it kind of restaurant. He was confused by the burner that was crowding our tiny table. We kept having to shift everything around in order to fit it all on the table. Anything that wasnt immediately being used was placed on the booth or on the floor.

The menu was quite stressful to read. Keith got an anxiety attack just trying to figure out the different options. He hadnt even glanced at the wine menu yet.

The waiter came and explained the different options to us, and we realized that we were not going to get out of there without parting with at least a hundred bucks. Keith’s back started spasming.

I finally took over and ordered for us.

The waiter brought out the cheese fondue, which was lovely. We began to relax and enjoy ourselves, sipping nice wine and lovingly stabbing one another with our fondue tongs.

But then the waiter brought out a huge plate of raw meat and about 16 different batters and sauces. He explained rapidly that this goes best with the duck on your top right, which should be cooked for exactly 1.5 minutes, while this other batter should be used with the pork on the bottom right. Dont cook that for more than 2 minutes, and on and on. Our brains fuzzy with wine, we attempted to remember the cooking style and sauce and time for each option, but we started panicking when we realized that the waiter was going to walk away and leave us, slightly intoxicated, with a huge platter of raw food and a vat of boiling oil.

“Okay, no, that’s the duck. It goes with this batter. Ah! Dont just drop it in like that! Wait, I’ll use my cell phone to time it. How long was the duck supposed to take?”

Keith frantically stabs at the now unrecognizable blobs of batter in the vat.

“I cant tell if it’s done. I’m just taking them all out”

He spears the blobs and tranfers them, dripping oil, onto his plate.

“I can’t tell if this is duck or pork or a potato”

I am no help. I’m laughing uncontrollably and snapping fuzzy, dark photos of random blobs of batter.

If this were our first date, we probably wouldnt have gone out a second time with one another.

Everything tasted the same after being smothered in batter and fried to hell.

And we ended up leaving Keith’s cell phone there.

This story sounded so much better in my head. I’m gonna go take a nap.


Leave a Comment
  1. G. D. Aiello / Aug 26 2005 4:55 pm

    I had to tell you this: I just talked to Xander on the phone!!
    Me:Hi Baby!!
    Mr X: Yea!
    Me: I love you!
    Mr.X: I did!
    Me: Yay!
    You should call and talk to him. Wonderful experience.

  2. Teeeka / Aug 26 2005 4:57 pm

    Aww, I’ve been thinking about doing that. Maybe I will this weekend

  3. Teeeka / Aug 26 2005 4:57 pm

    Aww, I’ve been thinking about doing that. Maybe I will this weekend

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