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July 12, 2005 / Kate

Stretchmaster

Maren and her dad and I were on our usual Tuesday run when I (remember, my running name is Whiny) needed to take a walk break. Maren decided to walk with me and her dad ran on ahead to use the bathroom and then wait for us.

We walked along, letting our aching muscles rest as we discussed monthly bloating.

As we got closer to the bathrooms, we noticed Maren’s dad talking to a young gentleman outside. He was squatting down with one leg crossed over the other and waving his arms. Maren’s dad mimicked him, and we realized that they must be stretching.

We walked up as the young man was explaining the importance of stretching thoroughly. He was wearing blue sunglasses and his fly was most decidedly unzipped. This was unfortunate because of the nature of the stretch he was demonstrating.

We decided to try out the pose too. People stared as they ran and biked by.

Maren: “Wow! You are really flexible”

Unzipped: “Yeah, its really important to stretch your Latissimus Dorsi along with your Trapezius. That’s Latin.”

Maren: “You are the Stretchmaster!”

Stretchmaster: “Yeah. What else do you want to stretch out?”

Maren: “My back! My back!

Stretchmeister grabs the fence and contorts his body and shows Maren how to stretch her back. He then proceeds to show us no less than 40 other ways to stretch your body. We halfheartedly try a few, looking at each other, wondering when it will end.

Maren: “You should teach classes in the park or something”

SM: “Yeah, I’ve thought of that. Like charging 5 bucks for a drop in fee or something”

We stand there.

SM: “Well, I gotta go to the bathroom, so…”

Us: “Okay, well thanks, bye!”

As we run off Stretchmeister yells, “Be well!”

We didnt look back

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7 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. theidif / Jul 12 2005 10:35 pm

    i heart your stories

  2. G. D. Aiello / Jul 13 2005 8:43 am

    Katy, why do you attract the crazies?

  3. tyKa / Jul 13 2005 9:01 am

    They know their own kind

  4. Maren / Jul 13 2005 9:35 am

    Ok, so when we left, these were Stretchmeister’s parting words… “Be Loose. Be Healthy.” It was great. I hope I see him teaching in the park someday. Wonder if he’ll wave my ‘drop-in’ fee???

  5. tyKa / Jul 13 2005 9:40 am

    That’s right. I couldnt remember his exact words

  6. vasisthadas / Jul 14 2005 4:55 am

    Yeah, when I go running I like to be a show-offimus knowitallify (that’s LATIN) as often as possible. Also, “be well?” “Be well??” That’s what I say to bums when I give them money on the streetitude (LATIN). How about “Have a nice day?” Or “See you around?” Silly peopletrons (ROBO-LATIN).

  7. tyKa / Jul 14 2005 8:31 am

    I KNOW!

    What were you doing up at 4:55 AM?

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