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May 1, 2005 / Kate

Funeral Beer

In our fasting stupor this week, Jessalynn and I came up with lots of silly ways to amuse ourselves. It will appear on both of our blogs. Enjoy.

Jess and I are no longer able to stand together in church, we have decided. It is just too risky. We tried it last Wednesday with disastrous results. We were innocently sharing a book and singing along, when we came across this line, “they placed in My hand a reed that I may shatter them like a potter’s vessel” and Jess lost it. I had to walk away quickly so that we would stop laughing.

In good fun and humble devotion, we have prepared these Troparia. The banana peel offering was inspired by a pre-Passion Gospel snack in which we didn’t know what to do with a banana peel. I suggested that Jess lay it on the Funeral Bier along with the more traditional flowers.

Springing forth from the tomb as from a bridal chamber
Thou didst rise from the dead as from a bridal chamber
Jonah didst leap forth from the monster as from a bridal chamber
Prefiguring Thine own Resurrection
Like a bridegroom in procession,
Thou didst emerge from Thy Mother’s Womb
As from a bridal chamber
To save our souls

Oh Virgin Theotokos
Thou has kept thy virginity inviolate
Preserving Thy virginity through childbirth
Thou was and art ever virgin
Glory of mothers and virgins
Thou didst conceive without seed in thy womb
And didst bare the savior of our souls

Laying at thy feet a banana peel
We offer to thee o Savior our humble sacrifice
Having consumed its contents
The humble shell we bring as a funeral offering
As we look to Thy third day Resurrection

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