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April 26, 2005 / Kate

Mack your broad

I too, would love to blog about work. Like, for example, I would love to talk about the truly unbelievable thing that happened yesterday, or the shocking something that happened today. Or the annoying thing that is happening right now. But I won’t. Because its wrong and bad.

I drank coffee today. With cream. And the barista who made it said, “before I hand this to you, I want you to promise me that you will take a sip and give me your honest opinion on it”
“I’m not promising anything! Give me my coffee!” I said. And I took it and ran as fast as I could.
Not really, I tasted it and it was good and I said it was good and that was that. He must have been new or something.

Hmm, what else.

I am constantly applying this lavender lotion that I bought because it reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and just before naptime we would wash our hands in a bowl of lavender water and then lay down and listen as our teacher played the harp and sang to us. The scent is really soothing to me and reminds me of sleepy bliss.

So, after I typed that, I wanted more lotion, right? So I pump the lotion bottle and squirt the lotion all over my phone. Shit. I had to frantically wipe all the lotion off the buttons before anybody walked by. Now my hands are greasy and my phone smells like kindergarten.

I am off to class where I will bask in the British loveliness that is my Prof’s accent and not really listen as she drones on and on about commodities. I will be perfecting the cool and slightly bitchy look on my face to show to the creepy guy that keeps staring at me in class.

Seriously. He’s creepy. He has a shaved head, which can be hot, but it ain’t working for him. The other day during break he was on the phone in the hallway as I walked by and he was staring at my skirt and mid-sentence he said “skirt” instead of whatever he had planned to say and then got all embarrassed and started walking quickly in the other direction.

Goodbye.

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13 Comments

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  1. jess / Apr 26 2005 1:28 pm

    I wish my phone smelled like kindergarten.

  2. Kate / Apr 26 2005 1:29 pm

    Its definitely a plus

  3. Cosby Sweater / Apr 26 2005 2:03 pm

    Hey, I just got your message on my posting. You’re from Portland? Cool. I’m from Salem, but I went to college at UofO lived in Portland from 2000-04. I get homesick from time to time for Powell’s, $1 PBRs, breakfast at Byways and driving a car.

    Are you from the NW?

  4. jessenicholas / Apr 26 2005 4:07 pm

    A boy camper at the Village when talking to a girl once asked about her condominium saying, “So…um, you have a condom? Oh god. I mean a condom. Shit. I mean…oh no….umm?”

  5. Kate / Apr 26 2005 9:16 pm

    Cosby: Yup, from PDX. I grew up in Seattle and Portland, both. I just spent waay too much money at Powell’s yesterday like I always do. Not familiar with Byway’s. So you just moved, huh?

    Jesse: That’s funny shit. Tell the one about the Priest who kept messing up.

  6. Cosby Sweater / Apr 27 2005 8:35 am

    Yeah, I’ve been in NYC for almost a year. Byways is on NW Glisan and like…13th. Cool place. Check it out sometime.

    Good to meet you.

  7. jessenicholas / Apr 27 2005 9:04 am

    So instead of inviting those who wish to partake to have some “blessed bread” he said, “Feel free to come partake of the breast…I mean the breast, no…the breast…sigh…the HOLY bread!” He later confessed he was thinking of his wife. That’s my spiritual father folks. Could be why I’m so whacked.

  8. Kate / Apr 27 2005 9:07 am

    Yay! The breast story!

  9. jess / Apr 27 2005 10:21 am

    Oh, that’s a good one.

    I was once going to meet a friend at Byways but something came up and then we never went. And now I’ve never been there either.

  10. Keef. / Apr 27 2005 5:46 pm

    What is it with creepy PSU classmates. This isn’t the first encounter you had, and my friend the Prof had a couple run-ins as well.

  11. Kate / Apr 27 2005 10:11 pm

    That’s true. That one wouldt make a good blog story though

  12. toni / Apr 27 2005 11:03 pm

    in first grade before lunch time we were supposed to lay our heads down on our desks and be very quiet and the lights were turned out and the teacher played her little harp. and we were supposed to be as quiet and still as could be. and whoever was being the quietest and stillest – the teacher would go play her harp on that child’s shoulder, and that child could then sit up. and so it would go, the mean teacher ranking us. and then we would go line up at the door in that order. and then we’d get our lunch baskets. and i don’t remember what then. then i’d eat my lunch seething with the injustice of it all. fucking karlina got picked first every time.

  13. Kate / Apr 28 2005 8:20 am

    Stupid Nazi Waldorf teacher

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